Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Baby's Prayer

Son #2 is learning to pray before he goes to bed.  Last night, we read from a devotional book as the boys ate berry cobbler at the kitchen table.  After worship, my husband prayed.  Then, he asked Son #2 if he wanted to say his prayer.  Son #2 babbled and smiled.

Our boys closed their eyes and folded their hands as I began.  "Dear..."

Son #2 repeated.  "Dearw..."

"Jesus"  I continued.

"Ee...u"  Son #2 said.

"Thank you..."  I stated.

"Ta...tu"  Son #2 chirped.

"for..."  I instructed

""  (Translation:  Night, night)  Son #2 declared.

"Help me..."  I spoke.

"be..."  Son #2 announced.

"good."  I finished.


"I..."  Son #2 began.

"love..."  I continued.

"Mama!"  Son #2 finished.  (That is not what we have been practicing.  He is supposed to say "you".)

"Amen!"  I concluded.

Son #2 grinned and clapped.  He is a sweet baby.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Runner

Lately, Son #1 really likes his privacy.  When he was a toddler, I naturally helped him bathe.  Now that he is six, he prefers to wash his hair and body independently.  I'm grateful because it is one less thing that I have to do.

This morning's shower time was like any of the other times.  I called out.  "Son, it's time for your shower!"

Son #1 complained.  "I don't want to take a shower!"  Why little boys prefer to stink...I'll never know.

I walked over to my eldest son and pretended to sniff his arm pits.  "Eww!  You're stinky!  Man you smell rotten!"  I teased.

Son #1 giggled and pulled the green blanket over his head.  A muffled voice shot back defiantly.  "I DON'T WANT to take a shower!"

A little irritated, I threatened.  "Fine.  If you don't take a shower, I won't let you ride your bike this evening."

"What?!  I want to ride my bike tonight!"  Son #1 yelled as he shot over to the restroom and slammed the door shut.

"THEN, TAKE A SHOWER!"  I emphasized.

I walked into the restroom and got the shower going.  Son #1 asked.  "Mom, can you go out?  I need some privacy."

"OK."  I obliged.

A minute or two passed and then the bathroom door opened.  Like a streak of lightening, my naked six year old sprinted around the house shouting.  "YOU'VE GOT A RUNNER!!!!!"

I rolled my eyes and laughed.  Then, I chased him around the house crying out.  "You'd better hurry and get to the shower before I catch you!" 

Son #1 bounded over toys and furniture on his scamper back to the restroom.  Shrieks of laughter could be heard from my silly little son as he scrambled behind the shower curtain.  "I beat you!"  He gasped, a little out of breath.

"You're lucky."  I stated with a smirk on my face.  I handed him the shampoo and soap.  "Hurry and wash up.  Do you want me to close the door?"  I asked.

"Yes."  Son #1 said in a matter-of-fact tone.  "I need my privacy."

"Sure.  No problem."  I said and shut the bathroom door.  I sighed and then giggled to myself.  With Son #1, it's all about privacy until there's a runner!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Phonics at the Grocery Store

While at the check out line, I mentioned to my husband that Son #1 was learning to sound out the word "grass".  Pride filled my husband's eyes as he said to our eldest son.  "That's cool!  Good job, son!"

Son #1 quickly responded.  "Yeah!  I can sound out grass!"

Then, Son #1 asked in an innocent yet booming voice.  "Did you know that grass has ASS in it?"

My eyes caught my husband's eyes as I smirked in impish delight.

He suppressed a giggle then replied seriously.  "Yes, son.  Grass does have ASS in it.  You sound it out like this.  Gr...ASS."

My shoulders shook hard as I tried to quiet my laughter.

Son #1 repeated loudly.  "Yeah!  Gr...ASS!"

Could the phonetic end of grass be shouted out a bit more loudly?

I love my son's innocence.  He will never know how much I enjoyed hearing the word ASS repeated over and over at the grocery store.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Unthinkable on a Chair

The unthinkable has happened to one of my chairs.  For those that know me personally, I will never disclose which chair has had the mishap.  No amount of torture can crack my secret.

It all began at bedtime.  I was finishing up a Bible story with Son #1, when I heard a chair scrape across the kitchen floor.  From inside Son #1's bedroom, I could hear Son #2 climb up the chair and begin to play with the dishes in the sink.  I continued to read mildly amused with Son #2's curiosity.

After praying with Son #1 and tucking him into bed, I went to check on Son #2.  Lo and behold, Son #2's pants and underwear were wet.  "Oh no!"  I said sorrowfully.  "You missed.  Let me get you a diaper."

I pulled off the wet clothes and grabbed a diaper.  Just as I was about to put the diaper on Son #2, I paused and asked my baby.  "Where did you pee pee?  I don't see it anywhere."  I checked the chair but did not find any pee.  Where could it be?  Then, I made a fatal mistake.

Leaving my naked baby standing on the chair, I went in search of the elusive pee.  I thoroughly searched the corners of each room carefully checking for signs of an accident.  None were found.  How could this be?  There had to be pee somewhere.  I thoroughly searched the house again.  Nothing.  Completely perplexed, I walked back to the kitchen.

As I rounded the corner, a terrible sight met my eyes.  My baby's legs and feet were covered in pea green diarrhea.  A medium sized turd sat neatly beside his right foot.  I gagged and whispered.  "Noooooooooo!  What the ______!  Gross!"

Quickly, I grabbed a bag of wipes.  First, I flushed the turd down the toilet.  Then, I attacked the puddle of diarrhea that had collected at my baby's feet.  Son #2 tap danced in the puddle as I cleaned splashing droplets of nastiness onto his already green legs.   Once the puddle was removed, I went to work on Son #2's legs, feet, and rear.   I think I may have used 2 boxes of wipes cleaning him up.  Son #2 was curious while I cleaned him and tried several times to reach the lower half of his body with his hands.  Every time he did that, I would disinfect his hands in a flurry of soap, water, and wipes.  After what seemed like an eternity, I had sufficiently cleansed my baby.  I dressed him deftly and began to walk him to his room.

While holding hands, Son #2 looked up at me sweetly and said.  "Ba ba."  What was I to do?  The two sippy cups that Son #2 normally uses were in the vicinity of the unthinkable calamity.  Those two sippy cups needed to be boiled before using them again.  I searched in the cabinets and found an old bottle.  I filled the bottle with milk, read Son #2 his Bible story, and tucked him into bed.

Now that my youngest was in bed, I dragged the chair out to the backyard and proceeded to decontaminate it.  While going through the horrific process, one question continued to nag my mind.  Did Son #2 really pee somewhere or was that water from the wash cloth in the sink?  I closed my eyes trying to dismiss the painful realization that Son #2's pee pee "accident" was a sham.  ________!  Had I realized that immediately, the unthinkable would not have happened on my chair!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Let Me See

The other day while I was preparing lunch, my two sweet boys approached the refrigerator door.  Son #1 opened the door to grab his glass of juice.  Son #2 squeezed underneath his arm to have a look inside.  I glanced over at Son #2 and asked.  "What do you want, Baby?"

Son #2 paused for a second and said.  "Hmm.  Let me see."

I laughed and replied.  "Take your time little one."  Then, I continued with my cooking.

Son #2 placed his finger on his chin and peeked around the refrigerator door.  He cried out.  "Mami?"

I responded.  "Yes, Baby."

Son #2 seriously stated.  "Hmm.  Let me see."

I was thoroughly amused and mimicked the little one.  "Hmm.  Let ME see."

Not to be outdone, Son #2 announced with authority.  "Hmm.  Let me see!"

I snickered to myself.

Toddlers imitate everything.  Now, I wonder where Son #2 heard that phrase.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Look Both Ways

One beautiful Saturday morning, we arrived at the church just in time for Sabbath school.  The boys were excited to get inside.  Both of their teachers are amazing.  Son #1's class always has a little project to do after they sing and listen to a Bible story.

I was busily undoing the car seat straps when I noticed Son #1 inching closer to the church.  We were parked in a large parking lot so I shouted.  "Look both ways before you cross!  You don't want to get run over by a car!"

Son #1 walked with confidence into the middle of the lane.  He stood for a moment contemplating his next move.  Then, he looked both ways for oncoming cars.  He called out.  "I looked both ways!  I don't see any cars!"

A church member passed my son as he continued to stand in the middle of the lane.  She giggled with amusement and then made a wry comment.  "Well, at least he knows how to look both ways."

I chimed back.  "Now, we just need to work on looking both ways BEFORE crossing the street."

The Bubble Wand

We have been potty training Son #2.  As the days go by, he is beginning to recognize when he needs to use the restroom.  He still has accidents.  However, there are days where he is very successful. 

One evening, Son #2 accidentally peed in his underwear.  The incident happened after supper.  Not only was his little rear stinky from urine, his face and arms were covered in food.  I decided that it was time for a bath. 

I helped Son #2 undress from his wet clothes.  Then, Son #2 climbed onto the potty to see if he could finish peeing in the toilet.  After a few drops came out, Son #2 announced.  "All done!  Get down?"

Son #2 scrambled off the toilet with ease.  The bath was not quite ready so I gave him a bubble wand to inspect.  Son #2 reached for the bubble wand with excitement.  He cried out.  "Thank you!"

As I continued to prepare the bath, I heard a splashing sound.  How could there be splashing when the baby was not in the bath?  I turned around in time to see Son #2 dipping the bubble wand into the toilet.  Once the wand was sufficiently wet, Son #2 began to wave it about the bathroom.  (Oh gross!)  Quickly, I snatched the wand away from him and tossed it into the washer.  I would return later to disinfect the nasty little toy. 

When I got back to the bathroom, Son #2 was in tears.  I tried to console him.  "Baby, I'm so sorry.  I'll get the bubble wand clean so you can play with it again.  You just can make bubbles using toilet water."

Son #2's tears began to subside.  I gave him a big hug and kiss.  Then I plopped him into the bath tub with his cool bath tub toys.  Thankfully, the bubble wand and toilet water were forgotten as Son #2 began to splash in water that was considerably cleaner.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


One hot May day, our little family visited the local Renaissance fair.  My boys donned their capes and "swords".  I put on an elegant and flowing dress.  My husband checked out his costume but put it back in disgust.  Unfortunately, his costume had seen better days and needed to be retired.

When we arrived at the fair, we let the boys explore shops, shows, and games.  They sampled tasty food and talked to the actors and shop keepers.  We meandered down the dusty paths and came upon a climbing wall. 

Son #1 gazed at the climbers on the wall.  While our oldest son was focused on the climbers, a bagel vendor began to call out.  "Bagels!  Get your hot, fresh bagels!" 

The bagel vendor was a charming man.  He engaged passersby with witty conversation.  Periodically, he would continue to shout out.  "Bagels!  Hot, fresh bagels!"

Son #1 and the bagel vendor struck up a conversation about the climbing wall.  After their conversation, the bagel vendor noticed that Son #2 was very fussy.

He used his humor to distract Son #2 from his fit of frustration.  Son #2 was intrigued.  Eventually, Son #1 began to climb the wall and the bagel vendor continued down the path selling his wares to the crowds of people.

When the boys seemed completely exhausted, we headed back to our home.  At the house, the boys took baths and readied themselves for bed.  Son #1 was in his room changing into his pajamas when I heard his voice ring out.  "Bagels!  Get your hot, fresh bagels!"

Obviously, our bagel vendor friend made quite the impression.

Friday, June 7, 2013


I have finally determined that Son #2's pooping time coincides with his bath time.  A couple days ago, he did diarrhea in the tub.  AGAIN! 

With a knowing look of horror, I proceeded to disinfect the tub, toys, and toddler.  While in the midst of this torturous task, my husband made a wry comment.  "You know...he does this every time you leave him in the tub." 

I grimaced and replied.  "Yeah.  I know."  This was said as I continued to scrub and rinse everything in the tub.

My husband observed.  "You should change his bath time to another time."  I made a mental note to do just that as I nodded in agreement.

Then, my husband asked.  "How many times have these toys been crapped on?  We're eventually going to give this stuff away.  Are we going to tell them about the crap?"

I began to belly laugh.

My husband continued.  "By the time we give these toys away, they'll have been crapped on about fifteen times!"

I giggled so hard I could barely get the words out.  "We won't tell them.  Let me bleach them.  They'll be alright."

"Yeah.  But they'll always have the essence of crap on them."  My husband said.

"If I start giving Son #2 a bath at a different time, the toys won't have as much crap particles on them."  I managed to say in between peels of laughter.

I hope I remember to give Son #2 a bath a different time.  Toys with the essence of crap on them is not a very nice gift to give to the needy.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

That's Not My Name

Son #2 is still confused about calling me Ma mi and my husband Da di.  Sometimes, he will mix up the names.  I can hear his little voice calling me from the hallway.  "Da di?  Daaa diii?"

I always correct him.  "Ma mi."

Other times, he will call for his Daddy.  "Ma mi?  Maaa miii?"

My husband counters.  "I'm Da di."

After several months of correcting our littlest son, he seems to be getting better about using the right name.  Tonight at the baby gate near my room, I saw a little head peek around the corner.  His eyes brightened as he cried out.  "Ma mi?"

I replied.  "Yes, baby."

Son #2 babbled.  "A to da da da wi wa ya ya na mi.  Wha a you doin?"

"I'm putting some stuff away."  I responded.  Then, I asked.  "What are you doing?"

As this question was posed, Son #2 raised his hands in the air in order to be carried.  While doing all that, he said.  "Eh eh."

"Alright."  I said in a growly voice.  I would have to finish my task a little later.  At least, Son #2 got my name right.