Tuesday, June 30, 2015

The Basketball Hoop in the Tub

During halftime of the NBA Finals Game 6, I decided to bathe the boys as quickly as possible.  Son #1 raced to the bathroom first and took a three minute shower.  The mirror in the bathroom did not have any time to steam up before Son #1 came tearing around the corner wrapped in a towel.  "Hurry and get dressed before the half is up!"  I yelled at my oldest son.

"I'm hurrying, Mom!"  Son #1 yelled back as he zipped to his room to find his pajamas. 

I scrambled to find my youngest son.  "Baby!  Where are you?"

"In my room!"  Son #2 called out.

"Time for a bath!"  I said hurriedly.

"Five more minutes!"  Son #2 replied unconcerned.

"There's not enough time for five more minutes."  I said as I scooped Son #2 up into my arms.  We rushed to the tub and began to fill it with water.  Son #2 fussed and tried to wriggle away.  "Sorry little boy."  I said as I pulled his shirt off of his head.  "You need to take a fast bath before the game starts."

"O.K.  O.K."  Son #2 answered irritably.  He climbed into the tub and began to splash about with his toys.  I soaped up his hair and body quickly.  Then, I rinsed him with the blue cup beside the tub.  Son #2 wiped his face with a wash cloth.  As he removed the cloth from his eyes, he looked up at me and asked.  "Five more minutes?"

"Sure."  I responded.  "You can have five more minutes to play."

Son #2 cheered with delight and then fished around for two bobbing racquetballs.  Once he found the balls, he searched through the bubbles to locate a giant sized bubble wand.  For a second, my youngest son analyzed the toys in his hand.  Then, he placed the bubble wand onto the faucet.  Son #2 scooted to the far end of the tub away from the bubble wand, carefully position one of the racquetballs, and shot the ball into the air.  The ball gracefully arced over the bubbles and rubber duckies toward the bubble wand hoop. 



I rushed into the bathroom to see what had happened.  As I skidded across the floor, Son #2 launched another ball to the bubble wand hoop.  The ball fell like a rocket onto the faucet and bounced insanely from one side of the tube to the other.  "What are you doing?"  I asked.

"I playing."  Son #2 replied cheerfully.

"What are you playing?"  I continued.

"Basketball!"  Son#2 hollered as he continued to shoot hoops across the tub.

"Ohhh!  Cool!  I get it."  I said with a laugh.  "Are you the Warriors?"

"Yeah!"  Son #2 roared as he pumped his fist.  "I winning!!!!"

From the living room, I could hear my husband and oldest son screaming wildly as the Warriors made another basket.  The Warriors were winning the game and my baby was winning his game.  All was right in our world that night.

Monday, June 29, 2015

The Tire Change

Recently, my husband has been restoring every part on his car.  I'm not exaggerating.  My husband is on a mission to clean, revamp, or replace all removable portions of the car.  Over the last couple of months, he has taken the entire car apart until only a shell remained.  Of course, the boys are thrilled with the prospect of putting the car back together.  However, the boys are only allowed into the garage when my husband is working on an easy task.

One day, my husband was finishing up his work on the transmission and the drive axles.  He was just about to place one of the tires onto the wheel bolts when Son #1 peeked around the garage door.  "Dad, can I help?"  He asked shyly.

My husband grunted.  "Sure.  Sure.  Come on in."  Son #1 bounced into the garage hopping over tools and car parts.  My husband was immediately alarmed by all the commotion and sharply instructed our son.  "Hey!  Stay still.  Don't touch anything."

Son #1 froze and then gazed at his dad.  "What do you want me to do?"

My husband sat on a chair for a second and removed the gloves from his hands.  "Well, you could help me put on a tire."

"Oh yeah!"  Son #1 cried.  "That sounds awesome!"  Then, he reached out to grab a few stray tools on the floor.

"Whoa!  Hold on a second.  There is a process that you have to follow."  My husband said.  "Let's get the wrench from the shelf behind me and then we'll get started."  Son #1 followed his dad dutifully and picked up the wrench.  Slowly, they walked over to a tire.  "Now, I need you to help me lift the tire onto the bolts."

"Huh?"  Son #1 scratched his head and made a silly face.  "You want me to lift the tire?"

"Yes."  My husband replied while ignoring our son's crossed eyes.  "Alright.  Grab that side and we'll lift the tire.  One.  Two.  Three.  Up!"  They carefully placed the tires onto the bolts.  "Go get the lug nuts."  My husband commanded.  Son #1 scrambled to the lug nuts and brought back the correct amount.  "Good job.  Now, we need to put these nuts on the bolts and tighten them with the wrench." 

Son #1 watched intently as my husband placed the nuts onto all the bolts.  He began to tighten the nuts that sat at opposite ends of each other in equal increments.  Quietly, Son #1 tapped my husband on the shoulder.  "Dad, can I try?" 

"Sure."  My husband replied.  Patiently, my husband helped Son #1 hold the wrench properly and tighten the nuts appropriately.  Son #1 smiled at his dad feeling very accomplished. 

Slowly, they worked together until all the tires were back on the car.  Then, my eldest son burst into the house shouting.  "Mom!  Mom!  I helped Dad put the tires on the car!"

"Wow!  That's so cool!"  I replied with a smile.

"Next time, I'm going to help dad with something else!"  Son #1 yelled with excitement.

"When I get to something easy, I'll let you help again."  My husband said encouragingly.

"Sweet!!!!"  Son #1 screamed as he ran to his room to play with his cars.  From his room, we could hear him pretending to fix his own cars before an exciting new race.  My husband and I grinned at each other as we listened to him play.  Son #1 was completely intrigued with cars both big and small.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

I Flying!

Son #1 and Son #2 are at the stage where they constantly fight and argue.  Son #1 enjoys teasing his brother unmercifully.  Son #2 enjoys reciprocating the torture.  The mornings are usually peaceful considering both boys are well rested.  However, the evenings are incredibly loud due to extremely cranky children.  They scream.  They shout.  They chase each other down the hallway.  They pretend to punch each other.  They slam doors.  My husband and I are going crazy.  My only consolation is that this is only a phase.  It will end soon.

One typically noisy night, Son #1 and Son #2 ran from room to room screaming at the top of their lungs.  From time to time, my husband and I would separate the children.  We doled out punishments and sent them to their rooms several times.  Still like two strong magnets, the children were drawn back to each other and their ongoing brawl.

Son #1 screamed.  "Get out of my room!!!"

Son #2 kicked his brother's door and yelled.  "Popen da door!!!"

"Leave your brother alone!"  I ordered as I marched my youngest son to the living room.  One minute of silence passed.  Then, my oldest son charged from his room to the living room and tackled his younger brother.  Son #2 wailed in despair as he cried out.  "Brudder hurt me!  I so sad!"

"Son!"  I said irritably.  "That was really mean.  You need to say sorry!"

"But I didn't do anything!"  My oldest son replied.

"You just tackled your brother.  Go say sorry!"  I demanded.

Son #1 put his younger brother in head lock and muttered.  "Sorry."

"That is not the way you say sorry.  Give him a hug and kiss and say sorry like you mean it!"  I commanded.

Son #1 gave Son #2 a gentle hug and kiss.  "Sorry Bro."  He said with sincerity. 

Son #2 hugged his older brother back for a brief moment but then screamed in anger.  "Don't touch me!!!"  His little fists beat his older brother's back.

Now, Son #1 was crying.  I glared at both of my boys.  "Little Son!  That is not the way you accept an apology.  You go say sorry right now!"

Son #2's lip quivered.  Then, he broke out into a sob.  "I sorry."  He said as his lips trembled. 

"You guys need to hug."  I said crisply.  The boys hugged tenderly.  "Give each other a kiss."  I instructed.  Son #1 and Son #2 kissed each other on the cheek.  "O.K.  You guys need to stop fighting.  You need to love each other.  You guys are brothers and when you grow up you'll be best friends.  Treat your brother with kindness."  I lectured as both boys wiped their tears.  "You can go play." 

The boys scampered off to their rooms.  Two minutes passed before screaming could be heard from the hallway.  Then, two wild minions whizzed by my legs while pummeling each other.  "I thought I told you guys to stop fighting!"  I yelled.  "Fine!  I've had it!  One of you is going in the bath!"

Quickly, I chased after the two Tasmanian Devils.  Son #1 raced ahead of his younger brother to his room.  He scurried inside and slammed the door shut.  Son #2 was not as wily and I was able to scoop him up into my arms.  Son #2 did not give up so easily, though.  He hollered.  "Put me down!"  I ignored his complaints and swung him around like Superman.  This caused my youngest son to laugh.  I continued to zoom around the house as we made our way to the bathroom.  Son #2 squealed with delight.  "Again!  Again!  I flying!!!"

If only, I had the strength and energy to swing my children around the house all day.  They would never have time to fight.  I guess I'll have to take Popeye's advice and eat my spinach.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Ahoy Matey!

My kids love to take bubble baths.  To be really honest, I love it when they take bubble baths as well.  There is nothing better than filling up the tub with bubbles and toys.  The kids think it is such a treat.  It is also a great way to keep them entertained. 

One evening, Son #1 filled up the tub for his bath.  He sang loudly as he load the bath toys into the water and poured a generous helping of bubble bath into the water.  Then, my oldest son hopped inside the tub.  I came into to the restroom help him soap up his wash cloth  and place shampoo on his hair.  Once I was done, Son #1 shooed me away so he could play.  Before leaving the restroom, I said.  "Don't forget to wash.  I'll be back to check on you in ten minutes."

"O.K!"  Son #1 shouted happily.  When I was gone, he continued to sing songs that he had learned from his music class.

As I walked away from the bathroom door, I patted my husband on the shoulder and said.  "Listen to him sing.  Isn't he cute?"

My husband paused from his task at hand and listened to our oldest son sing.  Then, he smiled and said.  "He sure does love to sing."

My husband and I busied ourselves with chores around the house while our oldest son played in the tub.  Periodically, one of us would pop our head through the door to check on our silly boy.  Son #1 would peer at us from behind a toy and grin.  Finally, ten minutes passed and I went in to help Son #1 get out of the tub.  As I entered, Son #1 formed one of the toys into a telescope and yelled. "Ahoy Matey!"

"Argh you scurvy sea dog!"  I growled in response.

Son #1 laughed.  "I'm not a scurvy sea dog."  He said between giggles.

"Well if you're not a sea dog, I guess I'm not a matey!"  I replied with an impish grin.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The "River"

Several days ago, Son #1 and Son #2 asked to play on the Slip & Slide.  My husband and I fished the slide and accessories out of the garage.  Then, we proceeded to set the whole thing up.  Son #1 and Son #2 ran to their rooms to change into their swim trunks.  Before going outside, I slathered them in sun screen.  Finally, we turned on the water.

At first, a small fountain trickled from the slide.  I adjusted the stream from the faucet and larger jets of water shot up.  The boys were amazed.  Son #1 grabbed his water board, backed up a few feet, and took a flying leap into the stream.  He slid halfway down the slide and skidded to a stop.  Obviously, the slide wasn't wet enough.  I turned the water up another notch as my husband encouraged our oldest son to try it again.  Son #1 tucked his board under his arm and returned to the starting point.  Then, he sprinted to the slide, leaped into the air, and hurtled across the water.  This time the slide was wet enough as Son #1 came crashing through the last puddle.

Son #2 jabbered excitedly as his older brother tested out the slide.  As soon as everything was working correctly, we ushered our youngest son to his board.  He picked it up and ran to the starting point.  He tentatively jogged to the edge of the stream, placed his board on the ground, and then pushed it down the stretch to the final puddle.  We all cheered as he reached the end.  Son #2 straightened up and shouted with his fists in the air.  "Yeah!"

For the next couple hours, the boys took turns skidding down the slide.  Water flew everywhere as they splashed and shrieked.  Even our border collie joined in the fun, racing back and forth across the yard.  Eventually as the sun moved toward the horizon, the boys' quick sprints turned into slow jogs.  Exhaustion permeated their facial expressions as they began to rub their sleepy eyes.  I brought out the towels and wrapped them up before bringing them into the house.  Son #1 and Son #2 were so tired they lay on the couch the rest of the evening.

The other day, Son #2 tapped me on the shoulder.  "Mommy?  I wanna play with da river."

"The river?"  I asked wrinkling my brow.

"Yeah.  Da river with da slide."  Son #2 explained.

"Oh.  You mean the Slip & Slide."  I said.  "Well, it's raining today but we'll get it out soon."  I assured my youngest son.  "Don't worry."

"O.K. Mommy.  We'll play with da river soon."  Son #2 said and hurried off to his room to play.

I giggled to myself.  We definitely have to play with the "river" again and soon.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Bubbles and Pops

Son #2 has his own language to describe the things.  For the past month, I've been writing down the unique phrases that he uses.  Whenever I hear something new, I have to pause and ask for more information.  Sometimes, Son #2 will keep repeating the phrase.  Sometimes, he will just lead me to the item he is requesting.  Either way, he eventually gets his point across.

In the bathroom, Son #2 is a very curious little boy.  Sometimes, he likes to see how things work.  He is particularly curious about the toilet.  One day, he asked for Pops.  I wrinkled my brows and asked.  "What?"

My little son tried again.  "Can I see Pops?"

"Pops!"  I exclaimed in a silly voice though I had no idea what he meant.

"No, no, no.  That's not right!"  Son #2 corrected.  "I want Pops."  He said as he pointed to the top of the toilet.

"What is Pops?"  I called out to my husband.

"Pops means he wants to see the inside of the basin behind the toilet.  Lift the lid for him and then flush the toilet."  My husband instructed.

"Huh?"  I responded in confusion.

"Just trust me."  My husband said.

"O.K."  I replied with a weird look on my face.  So, I lifted the lid on the basin behind the toilet.  Son #2 peered inside.

Then, my tiny son shouted.  "I wanna Jump!"  Immediately after making his announcement, Son #2 hopped toward the handle of the toilet and flushed it as he jumped.  My little boy stood on his tiptoes and watched as the basin emptied and then filled back up with water.  "Again!"  He cried.  I shrugged my shoulders and did it a couple more times.

There are also a few interesting words that Son #2 uses during meals.  One day, Son #2 gazed at me with his big eyes and said.  "I want Bani."

"What do you want?"  I asked as I knelt down to his level.

"Bani."  He replied impatiently as he ran to the refrigerator door.  From there he began to pull on the handle and throw a small fit.

"Hang on a second.  You don't need to throw a fit.  Let me open the door and see what's inside."  I said as I pried his fingers off the refrigerator handle.  I opened the door and Son #2 tried to scramble up the shelves like a spider monkey.  "Show me what you want."  I said in a no nonsense voice.

Son #2 pointed and jumped at the vanilla pudding.  "Bani!  Bani!"  He yelled.

"Oh, you want vanilla pudding."  I said with a smile as I brought down an individual cup.

Son #2 screamed with excitement.  "That's right!"

After those two incidents, I began to work on my toddler dictionary.  Please see below.  The dictionary is not and may never be complete.  Words are found in alphabetical order.

Apple Sing - noun the "Phonics Song" on the smart phone  example:  I want Apple Sing.

Bani - noun vanilla pudding  example:  I want Bani.

Boing - verb to jump while pushing the handle to the toilet synonym:  Jump  example:  Boing!

Bubbles - ???

Da Float - noun neck  example:  Dis is Da Float.  (said while pointing at neck)

Feed - verb eat  example:  I want to feed.  implied meaning:  Can you feed me?  I need help.

Jump - verb to jump while pushing the handle to the toilet synonym:  Boing  example:  Jump!

Pops - noun the inside of the basin behind the toilet  verb Lift the lid and flush the toilet  example:  I want Pops.

Pwivacy - noun the rare and precious time spent alone  example:  I want pwivacy.

Run - verb the action of running to the person holding your clothes in order to get dressed.  example:  I wanna run.

Snugger - noun stomach  example:  My snugger hurts.

Monday, June 1, 2015

The Ribbit Dance (The River Dance)

One afternoon while hanging out with family at my mom's house, the conversation meandered to the subject of the River Dance.  We cracked jokes, performed our own clumsy interpretations, and generally made ourselves look silly.  Son #2 listened intently as we continued to talk about the River Dance.  All of a sudden, my little son jumped into the conversation.  "I do da Ribbit Dance!"  He cried.  "Ribbit!  Ribbit!  Ribbit!"  Son #2 hopped across the tile floor like a frog chasing a fly.

My sister giggled and asked.  "Did you say the Ribbit Dance?"

"Yeah!"  Son #2 croaked.  Then, he continued to hop around the living room.  "Ribbit!  Ribbit!  Ribbit!"

"Psst!  Check this out."  My sister whispered and pointed discretely to my froggy, young child.

I poked my head around the corner and laughed.  "What are you doing?"  I asked my little son.

"Da Ribbit Dance!"  Son #2 yelled with enthusiasm.  He continued to bounce from room to room all the while croaking as loud as he could.  "Ribbit!  Ribbit!  Ribbit!"

Silly boy!

Son #2's dance was so infectious that we could not help but join in the fun.  Pretty soon, we were either croaking or hopping along with my youngest boy.  Son #2 croaked even louder between bouts of laughter.  Next, Son #1 encouraged his younger brother to fly through the house while shrieking like a manic frog.  Soon, two frog children were bounding across my mom's house as if leaping from lily pad to lily pad.

My children are ridiculous!

Eventually, the leaping and bounding began to get out of control.  Slowly, we helped the children calm down.  Their flying leaps turned into gentle hops.  Their raucous croaking turned into quiet chirps.  The froggy children looked tired so we began to get their shoes on their feet.  However before we left my mom's house, I turned to my youngest son and said.  "Show me the Ribbit Dance again."

Son #2 grinned and replied.  "O.K."  Then, he hopped with all his might out the front door to our car.  "Ribbit!  Ribbit!  Ribbit!"