Friday, November 23, 2012


Son #2 was sitting in his high chair eating Cheerios as I  unloaded the dishwasher the other day.  He savored each delicious bite with half closed eyelids and a look of pure joy on his face.  When he ran out of Cheerios.  He babbled.  "More."

I cheerfully walked over to the pantry and retrieved the bag of Cheerios.  Then, I poured a good sized portion onto his tray.  Son #2 beamed with excitement.  He popped a few Cheerios into his mouth and then swished both hands across his tray.  Cheerios flew across the tray from all directions onto the floor.  I patiently bent over to pick up the scattered cereal.  Then, I went back to the dishwasher.

As I continued to put dishes away, Son #2 inspected the Cheerios in front of him.  Sometimes, he placed a Cheerio into his mouth.  Then, he got a mischievous twinkle in his eye.  His tiny hands swished across his tray again and scattered Cheerios onto the floor.  I glanced over my shoulder and took in his handiwork.  I sighed and once again picked up the mess. 

Son #2 leaned over his high chair as I bent down to clean.  He giggled with glee and swished his tray with a vengeance.  I looked up in time to see a spray of Cheerios fly over my head.  This time I muttered to him and myself.  "What in the world."

Son #2 was not done with his fun yet.  As soon as he saw me bend over to gather the Cheerios, he chortled and sent the remaining pieces flying off his tray.  I stood straight up and said.  "That's it stinker!  You're all done."

Sadly, I said that a bit too late.

Cat Observations

A couple days ago, Son #1 was chatting to my husband and I about the difference between little boys and cats.  He was in the process of showering and getting dressed when he stated.  "I'm naked and I have to put on clothes."

We nodded our heads and his dad shouted.  "You're right!  Hurry up, son!"

Son #1 busied himself with his clothing and then yelled out.  "But cats aren't naked.  They have fur on."

I paused for a moment and wrinkled my brow.  The conversation had taken a weird turn.

Then, Son #1 continued.  "Yeah.  Since cats have fur, they don't have to get dressed."

"Uh huh."  His dad and I replied.

"And they don't have to take showers either.  They just lick themselves."  Son #1 announced from the bathroom.

You're observations are correct, Son #1.  However, you still need to take baths and get dressed.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

No! You Fall Asleep!

When Son #2 is sleepy, he usually cries.  "I want my ba!" 

While he is whimpering, I run to the kitchen to prepare his bottle.  Then, I scoop my little baby into my arms and settle down on the couch with his bottle. 

Son #2 coos while his sleepy eyes droop dreamily.  I begin to rub his eyes and eyebrows as his body relaxes in my arms.  The lights are low and everyone talks in hushed whispers.  Usually, Son #2 will finish his bottle, hand the bottle to me, and then announce.  "All done."  Then, he closes his eyes, turns to hug me, and falls asleep.

Sometimes, Son #2 does not want to fall asleep even though he is very tired.  While I rub his eyes and eyebrows, Son #2 forces his eyes open, holds his bottle with one hand, and proceeds to rub MY EYES with the other hand. 

I think that is Son #2's way of saying.  "No! You fall asleep!"

Chinese News Network

When Son #1 was three, we had satellite TV.  This was a wonderful waste of time because we could amuse ourselves with a variety of fun shows.  Sadly, this was also around the time the recession hit our family with ferocity.  In order to save money, we reduced our plan a few times until we had only 10 channels and a $20 monthly bill.  One of those channels was the Chinese News Network. 

Son #1 loved to fall asleep while watching either the DISH Earth channel or the NASA channel.  Both were soothing to look at during nap time.  Sometimes after nap, he would ask to watch TV.  Knowing that there was really nothing to watch, I would ask mischievously.  "What do you want to watch?"

Son #1 would reply.  "I don't know."

I ran through the options.  "Well, do you want to watch some of the shopping networks, DISH Earth, NASA, or Chinese News Network?"

Son #1 pondered the question thoughtfully and then shouted.  "Chinese News Network!  Chinese News Network!"

So, we kept up with current events in China.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Mr. Screamy

Son #2 has discovered his voice.  He screams when he's happy.  He screams when he's sad.  He screams when he's hungry.  He screams when he's tired.  He even screams when his older brother teases him.  Well, maybe the last reason for screaming is warranted.

When Son #2 screams, it reminds me of pterodactyls in flight searching for prey.  Once while at church, Son #2 decided he wanted to get down from the pew and run down the aisle.  We tried patting and bouncing him to distract him.  Sadly, Son #2 could not be dissuaded. 

Just as a lovely lady began to sing, Son #2 began to shriek.  My husband and I pulled out every shiny object we could find.  Son #2 would coo at the shiny object for a moment but then begin to screech again.  I quickly bundled up the little pterodactyl and rushed him to the mother's room where restless children can fidget and play.  With a sigh of relief, I released Mr. Screamy and plopped onto a rocking chair.  Mr. Screamy morphed back into my sweet and quiet baby boy.

It's amazing how babies can shriek when you need them to be quiet.  It is equally amazing how babies immediately become quiet as mice when you put them somewhere so they can make a lot of noise.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Thanksgiving Turkey Banana

The other day, Son #1 and I were working on a project for his kindergarten class.  Each child was sent home with a paper turkey and instructions to disguise the turkey so it would not be eaten.  Before starting our project, I turned to Son #1 and asked.  "How should we hide the turkey?  What should we make him be?"

My son pondered the question for a moment and then replied.  "A banana!"

I drew a banana costume for our turkey friend, cut it out, and then glued it on.  Son #1 ran to his room to retrieve his markers.  When he returned to the kitchen, we began to color the banana yellow.  Midway through the project, I commented.  "This is a pretty good costume.  Now the turkey won't get eaten."

Son #1 agreed but then his head popped up.  "Wait a second!  A banana is a fruit!  Our turkey IS going to get eaten!"

I almost busted a gut laughing.  Then I suggested.  "We need a sign."

Our sign fixed the situation perfectly.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Vote For Daddy! Oh Wait! Don't.

Prior to the election, we were not enamored by the red and blue options for president.  My husband and I would privately joke about writing in my husband's name on the ballot.

My eldest son would listen intently and then announce.  "Yeah R______ and O______ suck.  I'm gonna vote for my dad!"

My husband and I would giggle and then agree.  "Yeah!  They suck.  Let's vote for your dad!"

One day on the way home from school, my husband and son talked about the elections that were coming up.

Son #1 got tears in his eyes and asked.  "Daddy, if you become president will you move away?"

My husband looked at our eldest son with a tiny bit of shock and said.  "What?"

Son #1 said.  "I don't want you to become president because if you do you'll have to leave us."  Then the tears rolled down his sweet face.

My husband turned to Son #1 and reassured him.  "Son, I won't run for president.  I'm going to stay here with you guys instead."

Daddy may not be president but he's definitely Son #1's hero.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Bad Sorry!

Son #1 and his Tio (Uncle) were playing with a particular feature on the cell phone.  This particular feature is nicknamed Sorry because she is very bad at following instructions. 

Tio and Tia (Aunt) had just returned from a fabulous vacation in St. Croix.  Son #1 wanted to know more about St. Croix so Tio spoke to Sorry in a commanding voice.  "St. Croix."  Son #1 and Tio waited with anticipation as Sorry searched the web.  However, what Sorry found was not St. Croix.

Sorry's metallic voice blurted out.  "F**kslut!"

Tio yelled out in shock.  "Stupid Sorry!"

Son #1 reprimanded.  "OH!  We don't say that!"

Tio looked at Son #1 with a sort of sheer terror only uncles can feel when they have taught their nephew a four letter word.  "We don't say what??"

Son #1 replied innocently.  "We don't say stupid!"  Then with a confused look on his face, my eldest son asked.  "What did the phone say?"

Tio responded.  "Uh...nothing."

Son #1 wanted to play some more and questioned his Tio with new excitement on his face.  "Can we ask the phone another question?"

Tio said quickly.  "No.  Sorry is broken.  We'll have to play with something else."

Procedure of the Day: Burp Then Clap

Son #2 has learned to clap.  Whenever my husband and I say "What a good boy!" or "Yay!", Son #2 smiles and claps with all his might.

The other day, our sweet baby finished a hearty supper and began to play rambunctiously around the house.  He climbed, ran, rolled and dodged things (and his older brother) all while laughing hysterically. 

In the middle of the rowdy play, Son #2 let out a HUGE burp.  He stopped with a shocked look on his face but only for a second.  Then, a grin surfaced and he began to clap.

My husband cracked up and shouted.  "What a good boy!"

I giggled and yelled out.  "Yay!"

Son #2 clapped even harder.  He is all boy.