Sunday, February 24, 2013

Poop in the Tub Part Duex

Son #2 was enjoying a lovely bubble bath one fine evening.  A tug boat and several duckies bobbed along in the water.  Son #2 squealed and splashed.  As usual, I sat beside the tub reading a magazine and periodically talking to my little baby.  He crawled on his hands and knees to one side of the tub and began to play with a couple floating rafts.

I perused the articles in the magazine.  Then, I heard a grunting noise.  I glanced at Son #2 and noticed that he was sitting in the water holding a toy.  He grunted again.  I became suspicious.  Was my baby about to POOP in the tub?!

Quickly, I tossed the magazine aside and hoisted Son #2 from the water.  As I did, a large turd began to descend from his bottom toward the pristine bath water.  I shrieked.  "NO, NO, NO!  NOT AGAIN!"

Sadly, it was too late.  Son #2's bottom released the poo like a missile.  It screamed toward earth and landed directly onto the tub deck.

I sighed as I sat Son #2 on his potty. 

My littlest son laughed and clapped with glee. 

I threw up a little in my mouth at the sight of a large turd gleaming on white porcelain.

Thank goodness for powerful disinfectants.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Tooth Fairy

Right before Son #1 lost his first tooth, my husband and I had a conversation with him about the tooth fairy.

"Son #1, when your tooth falls out save it and put it under your pillow."  We began.

"Why?"  Asked my son.

"If you do that, the tooth fairy will come and give you money in exchange for your baby tooth."  My husband said.

"Whoa!  That's cool!  I bet she's going to give me a lot of money!"  My eldest son exclaimed with excitement.

"How do you know the tooth fairy is a girl?"  My husband questioned our son, a little miffed that I would get the credit for being the tooth fairy and not him.  My husband was the one who would exchange the tooth for money once Son #1 was fast asleep.

"BECAUSE the tooth fairy is a girl not a boy.  Fairies can't be boys."  Son #1 replied.

"Well, how do you know it isn't a tooth fairo?"  I contributed with an air of silliness.

"A tooth fairo!  There is no such thing!"  Son #1 scoffed with disbelief.

The conversation went on and on but we could not convince Son #1 otherwise.  My poor husband would not get credit for playing the tooth fairy tonight.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Big Wheel

Grandma and Grandpa gave Son #1 a big wheel for his birthday.  Son #1 loves to ride it in the house, the front yard, and the back yard. 

One wintry afternoon, Son #1 and Son #2 took the tricycle and big wheel into the back yard to race.  Son #1 zoomed back and forth across the yard.  Son #2 used his tip toes to slowly ease the tricycle onto the grass.  Shouts and shrieks of joy floated into the house.  From time to time, I peeked out the window to make sure Son #2 was not eating anything questionable.

Some time passed and then yelling and screaming invaded my peace.  I walked outside to investigate.

"Stop it!  Quit pushing me!"  Son #1 shouted with irritation.

Son #2 squealed and screamed in protest at his older brother.

"Mom, he won't leave me alone."  Son #1 tattled.

Son #2 was determined to push the big wheel around the yard with Son #1 in it.  I analyzed the situation and then suggested.  "Hmm.  That actually looks like fun.  You should let your little brother push you around and get a free ride."

Son #1 thought about my suggestion for a moment and then replied with a huge smile on his face.  "Yeah!  That sounds fun!  Alright little baby.  Let's get going!"

Son #2 giggled with delight and pushed him around the yard.  Apparently, Son #2 has the strength of Bam Bam.

Friday, February 15, 2013

The Fort

One afternoon, my two little boys were crabby and bored.  They wanted something to do but did not want to play the usual things.  After listening to oldest one complain for a bit, I came up with a great idea. 

I said to my oldest boy.  "Let's build a fort!"

Son #1 immediately jumped up and down with glee.  He shouted.  "That's a great idea, Mama!  We need some blankets!"

I grabbed several blankets from their rooms and tossed them over the couch.  Son #1 yelled for toys as Son #2 ran around the living room shrieking with excitement.  Pillows were placed underneath the billowy blankets.  The boys crawled into their fort and immediately began to examine their surroundings.

While the kids played in their fort, I busied myself around the house.  Midway through the cleaning and cooking, I noticed that the house had become serenely quiet.  I thought to myself.  "This does not seem right.  It's always noisy in this house.  I wonder what the boys are doing."

Visions of mayhem danced through my head as I peeked into the fort.  What I saw next was a pleasant surprise.  Inside, Son #1 was reading a book and curled up on my green blanket.  Son #2 was quietly investigating a musical toy.  They smiled sweetly at me as I looked in at them.  Moments like these are absolutely amazing.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Fart

It was close to bedtime.  The boys were wrapping up their bedtime routine with baths, brushing teeth, and worship.  Son #1 had to use the restroom one last time before he crawled into bed.  While Son #1 took care of business, I rubbed Son #2's eyebrows as he lay in his crib.  Son #2 gently drifted off to sleep and I crept on tiptoes out of his room.

I sat on the couch watching a sitcom and waited for my eldest son.  From inside the restroom, I heard him try to whisper my name.

"Mom?  Mom?"  Son #1 cried.

"Whaaat?"  I called out from my perch on the couch.

"Mom, come here."  Son #1 said.

"Hang on a second."  I replied lazily.

I slowly eased myself from the couch and walked to the bathroom door.  Son #1 was seated on the toilet when I looked inside. 

I asked with a quizzical look on my face.  "What do you need?"

Son #1 smirked and announced.  "I farted."

"Oh really."  I responded.

"Yeah.  My biggest fart was like a cannonball while I was pooping."  Son #1 stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

I love my boys.